


One last time

by MagicMiss



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Eren POV, Eren regrets everything, Sad, i think, possible mistake sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-10-19 09:07:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17598365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicMiss/pseuds/MagicMiss
Summary: It was her fault.





	One last time

_ This is her fault.  _

 

I tried. Really, I tried to protect them from their own stupidity and blindness but they kept going, and going, and going. I couldn’t do anything more. Zeke was right, they’re only slave. Cattles obeying only to their basic fears and instinct. They can’t look forward, The can’t understand what we were planning… And now… 

 

Why do I feel like shit ? It wasn’t my fault. It was your.  _ Their _ . Their fault. 

 

I bet they pushed you to do that, to try that. You would’ve never tried to kill me, according to Zeke, it’s in your  _ blood _ , in your identity, to protect and serve me. And yet. The headache must have been terrible. I am sure it’s Jean who convinced you, he never liked me. He’s such a fool and an asshole. I should kill him for that. I can kill him. I am going to kill him. You wouldn’t like that though. I never knew why, and how, you started “dating” him. He’s the worst ! Such an asshole… 

 

He’s gonna cry. When he’s gonna see you like that. He’s an asshole but he did loved you. Ah ! I feel tear in my own eyes. What are you doing to me, Mikasa ? 

 

To be honest, I never thought it was going to end up like this. I always imagined Armin, you and I, the feets in the sea, looking away, smiling… But… You couldn’t understand what we were… We were trying to do… He told me… Zeke told me the truth. He told me you never even liked me. It was your  _ blood _ . Not you… And yet… Why do I feel so much like shit right now ? Why do I doubt ?

 

Shit. Your scarf… It has blood on it. Ah. You can’t really care about it anymore now… I remember when they told me I attacked you, in Trost. Years ago. I couldn’t believe it ! And yet, this scar on your face. A permanent mark. Maybe I did sensed that you were a slave back then. Like… I can’t understand why I would’ve done that either ways. Mikasa… I am… No. 

 

It’s Zeke. He told me. He told me the truth ! But… Why can’t I believe him anymore ? I shouldn’t feel this bad for you. You’re nothing. You’re a slave. You’re cattle. Only a  _ stupid _ experiment ! Ngh. I can’t even hear me talk. I am disgusting. 

 

I feel like shit. You were… right… I am not free. We can’t. We can only try to. And  _ fail _ . I am… I am so sorry Mikasa. 

 

It’s a bittersweet end for us, isn’t ? I betrayed all of you, insulted you, punched Armin to the blood, yet you still tried to “save” me but you couldn’t. So you tried to kill me, to protect your new family and motherland. I regret it now. I always regret things when it’s too late. Always when the person I’ve hurted can’t hear my apologies. Mom, Levi’s squad, Sasha… You…

 

You’re not even cold. Your hand is still warm. But the blood is dry and yours eyes closed. I am sorry. I am so,  _ so _ sorry. Mikasa… I can’t go back now. I killed you. They’re gonna go after me. Levi, Hange, Connie… Armin...  _ Jean… _ And they wouldn’t be wrong. But I am not going to let them kill me. I will fight back. 

 

I wish I would’ve put this scarf on you again, one last time, before you died. Like I once promised. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> So yeah why not ? Comment or leave a kudo :) I’ll like to read what u think about this ^^


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